So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
