You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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