this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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