Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
