Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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