So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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