In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
