I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
