i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
