I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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