And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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