Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize