YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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