I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
