She's JV to your varsity
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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