I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
