Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
