Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
