I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
