dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
