My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
