Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
