32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
