very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
