so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We need to get me chipped asap
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
