I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
