Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize