i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
