Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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