I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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