i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
