For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will pee on everything he values.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
