then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
