my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you would pick up someone in the library
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
