I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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