Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
