Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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