the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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