We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
