You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
