Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
