I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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