Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i now understand why vodka
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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