So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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