Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
