if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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