did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
