so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
