Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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