My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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