"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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