WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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