Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
