what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
