Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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