my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My life is pants optional.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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