Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
