When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
