last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize