no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
