xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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