it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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