is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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