no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
