Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I am morally bankrupt
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
