And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She bit a glass in half.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
