I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize