why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
